Fear of Death
By Odera Ohuruogu
I have a lot of fears.
A fear of losing a loved one.
A fear of bugs.
A fear of small spaces.
So many fears for just one person.
I also have a fear of death.
Not just dying, but what happens after.
I mean, the idea of dying is pretty scary.
What if I don’t die of old age?
What if my death isn’t peaceful but painful?
I wonder if I would feel a wave of pain and then nothing.
Then I would cross the threshold.
And then what happens?
Would I just fade into nothingness?
Where would my spirit go?
As a religious person I want to believe that I would go to a good place like Heaven.
But what if I didn’t do everything that I needed to do?
Nothing is guaranteed in life.
Anyone could die at any moment.
That’s where my fear really lies.
There’s just so much uncertainty.
Just thinking about it gives me anxiety.
Even though it scares me, I don’t want to give in to the fear.
All I can do is keep living my life the best I can and hope that what I’m doing is enough.