By Katherine Chen
The lightswitch in my mind is broken,
So I read with the window open.
Except daylight dims to agony,
And I’m suffocated by reality.
Your presence when it did exist,
Tuned my organs to concert pitch.
Now the band is pitifully off-key,
And the conductor is an absentee.
Everywhere I mentally turn,
Mirrors amplify my heartburn.
Why couldn’t I see what was going on?
How do I know you’re really gone?
You’re still here! Yes, you are!
Leading our band with your blue guitar.
The fictitious audience claps and cheers,
Until I wake in a bed of tears.
How dare you leave me?
How dare you deceive me?
I’m sorry, that was unfair,
I just wish I’d been aware.
Your family really misses you.
Your sister claims she has the flu.
In reality, she can’t leave her room,
Wearing a mask to hide her gloom.
I hate taking our path to school,
Bathing in my aphotic pool.
Those idiots at school prepare to weep,
Whenever teachers pass their seats.
“Two days off school!” they say,
In honor of the girl who passed away.
That girl who decided to take her life,
When our peers threw her a knife.
A few months later, I made a friend,
You know, that girl who drives a Benz.
You thought she was aggravating,
But I’m tired of hibernating.
I’m in her car as the sun rises,
And then my sorrow vaporizes.
This girl isn’t who I thought she’d be,
She acts like you, to a tee.
Then I realize guiltily,
I forgot about you and me.
For a second, I really forgot.
I finally found a glowing thought.
But that’s okay, I’m okay.
Even though your death kills me everyday.
Even though new friends feel treasonous.
I’ll live and grow for both of us.
I’ll breathe until my head is whirling,
And sprint until my body is hurling.
I’ll laugh until my lungs give out,
And learn guitar without a doubt.
My mind can finally see again,
And flickers of light appear now and then.
The lightswitch in my mind may be broken,
But the fireplace inside has finally spoken.
